


Sugared Starts

by vaultboii



Category: Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Coffee, Developing Friendships, Early Mornings, Family Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaultboii/pseuds/vaultboii
Summary: King Dedede asked. “Want a coffee?”“What,” the Matter deadpanned.“Does thou want a caffeinated beverage with added sugar and cream?” King Dedede asked slower. “Or no sugar and cream. I know a few barbarians who drink it without.”





	Sugared Starts

**Author's Note:**

> just a quick test because where's the dark matter content, nintendo. where it at.

King Dedede looked up at the singular eye that had manifested in his kitchen, and mentally noted to never, ever wake up past 9 AM ever again.

The Demon in particular was not causing havoc. Yet. The Swordsman was merely floating over the edge of a counter with a cloth, wiping off invisible stains from a glinting sword. Around him, the kitchen was abandoned; spears and knives were strewn here and there in the place of usual servants. Thankfully, there were no bodies; it appeared his Waddle Dees had just lazily tossed their weapons at the intruder while running in the opposite directions. Figures.

He paused. Dark Matter glanced up in his direction, and went back to their sword. Alright. Not an outright attack yet. The King had this in the bag.

“Are you here to possess me again?” He asked casually.

Dark Matter took a swipe at the air with their sword, and uttered one word. “No.”

Second question it was. “Why are you polishing a sword in my kitchen?”

Dark Matter had the decency to grace him with a proper sentence this time. “Your Knight chased me out of the armoury.” A stretch of darkness, and the Matter replicated a familiar set of crooked wings from their back, just in case Dedede was a moron and didn’t understand which knight they were referring to. “Now I’m here.”

“Oh.” Alright, third question. “What are you doing here?”

He had never heard a Dark Matter outright sigh before, but now he could permanently cross that achievement off his bucket-list. The sword swished away into nothingness.“I’m looking for Gooey,” the monster said. “Friend of Kirby’s.”

“Gonna have to be more specific.” Dedede decided that hell, if the Matter hadn’t attacked now, he wouldn’t attack at all. He needed coffee, anyways. Batting the Matter aside gently with a gesture, he searched for the morning brew. The Matter, perhaps stunned, obliged. Ah, there was the coffee-pot. “Everyone’s a friend o’ Kirby on this wretched planet.”

“He’s,” and Dark Matter struggled to find the exact word, “Unique.”

“So is Meta Knight when tap-dancing alongside Kirby.” Resting his hammer against the counter, he searched for a cup. “Details.”

“Blue blob. Two eyes.” Dark Matter huffed. “Long tongue. An idiot.”

“Oh, you’re talking about that Gooey.” It was fun to see the Matter squirm in irritated impatience. It was probably going to get him killed, too. “Why didn’t you say so? Me n’ old Goo, we go way back. You ever heard of the story –”

“Where. Is. He?” The Matter asked nicely.

“Eh?” He exaggerated a face. Hey, coffee was done. Downing the cup in one go, he grabbed his ol’ trusty hammer and turned around. Dark Matter nearly backed up completely at the sudden hyperactivity. “Blorb’s out with Kirby right now, I believe. Some friendship adventure wrap-up schmuck. I wasn’t invited.”

The news seemed to annoy the Matter. “Where?”

“I dunno. Wasn’t invited, didn’t get the memo, been preoccupied and busy doing nothin’. Huzzah.”

Dark Matter huffed again, and cleaved another impatient strike through the air.

“Just stick around if you need to see him so bad,” he advised. “Kirby’s adventures usually last ‘bout a week, and it’s been five days. Then you can go do your darkness thing, or whatever schmuck you’ve been up to. Say, how’s Zero?”

“Dead.”

“Oh,” and that was probably a mistake bringing that topic up. He rotated his hammer in his fingers awkwardly. “Oh. I’m...sorry?”

The Matter sheathed their sword with such hostility King Dedede near-backed up onto the counter. “It’s fine.” It did not sound fine.

That was the cue for King Dedede to pull up a chair, sit down, and start talking to Dark Matter about their problems. Being a jerk, he did none of those options and simply leaned back on the counter.

Silence ensured. After a few refills, King Dedede realized it was apparent that the Dark Matter was going to continue their intense fascination with the countertop, and not speak. This was fine with the King, if he was being honest. He despised receiving answers from the Matter that reeked of insolence.

But Kings had duties, and one of the lesser duties King Dedede had was to welcome all visitors in his Castle, whether he liked it or not. Huffing into his coffee, he eyed the Matter over the rim. What would Kirby do? Kirby would hug the pissy swordsman and somehow get away with it. Kirby would excitedly bounce up and down and wave frantically. Kirby would offer food, drink, his entire soul --

_Ah._

King Dedede asked. “Want a coffee?”

“What,” the Matter deadpanned.

“Does thou want a caffeinated beverage with added sugar and cream?” King Dedede asked slower. “Or no sugar and cream. I know a few barbarians who drink it without.” A certain Waddle Doo with no sense of taste buds to be exact. How Waddle Doo managed to take a sip without hurling was beyond the King. Another subject of fascination was Meta Knight -- he had caught the knight drinking cancerous amounts of sugar in his one morning.

Dark Matter blinked so hard it was almost audible.

“Or tea?” King Dedede tried. Some people were picky. “The Waddle Dees always like the fruity stuff. Never tried it.”

“You’re asking me if I want a beverage.” The Dark Matter said.

“Yes.”

“You’re asking me,” and the Dark Matter spoke slower as if talking to a child. King Dedede almost snorted into his mug. “If I want. A beverage.”

“Do you want it or not?”

Hesitation. King Dedede was about to call it quits and go back to bed.

“Coffee,” the Matter said. Their voice was edging on confusion. “I’ve never had --”

“Good grief,” King Dedede snorted and snatched a cup from the top of the counter. The Matter floated closer; either to get a better look at what the King was doing, or run him through with that blade. Dedede was past caring at this point. “You do know how to make a cup of coffee, right?”

Silence.

“Okay, so you --”

“I know how to turn on a machine,” the Matter snapped and pressed a button. The coffee-pot turned on with a beep. The monster was not done with their rant, however. “We Matters are not primitive specimens; we have dignity, right and honor. If you so called presumed to embarrass me by showing me how to turn on a machine, I will have you know that I –”

The rant continued. King Dedede, like the beloved tyrant he was, waited patiently.

“— how do you go from there,” the matter eventually trailed off.

And so they made a cup of coffee. Granted, it had been a while since Dedede had actually made his own cup of a hot beverage and it turned out you did not dump the grains into the coffee-pot without a filter, but it worked out. Somewhat. By that time the brew had finished a few Waddle Dees had peeked around the corner, probably terrified that their King had been offed or something. He waved, friendly.

The Matter lifted the cup and examined it suspiciously. “This is not some trick,” the monster inquired bluntly.

“It’s coffee.”

“You may have laced it,” the Swordsman snarled again.

“You watched me make it.”

“Your sleeves may have many things stored in them.”

“Just drink the bloody thing before it gets cold,” King Dedede snapped and took a sip of his, to make a point. The Swordsman took one long glare at the simmering liquid before, eventually, tipping it into the vast abyss that was their body.  
The world held its breath. Meta Knight stepped into the kitchen and froze.

Dark Matter, paying none of them attention, raised the mug again and looked at it thoughtfully. “Needs more sugar,” they said.

King Dedede smiled. He looked the new arrival in the eyes, and pointed backwards, right to Meta Knight’s personal stash of sugar. “Right there.” He said. “All for you.”

And that’s how the morning went. Just sipping coffee in a broken cafeteria with a monster that had possessed him before. The Waddle Dees returned to their seats. Meta Knight paced once and left in the prissiest mood the King had ever seen him in the last two days. Everything went back to a quiet, scheduled semi-normal.

“Thanks,” the Matter said gruffly from across him, and mimicked raising their cup in a wave.

He raised his cup back, and thought to himself, _maybe it wasn’t too early in the morning, then._


End file.
